Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
