Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
