and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
