so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Randomize
