Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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