Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
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I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Come on in and take your pants off
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