trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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