so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
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