I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
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