That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
