It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Acid is not a monday night drug
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
There's always time for handjobs
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
