"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
