Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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