i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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