just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize