69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
