Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
