remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
