she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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