also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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