At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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