i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
