Please, let me fuck your mom
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
