Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
my poor anus
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
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