I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
