He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
