Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
