walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
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