dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
false alarm. still invincible.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
