i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
