My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize