capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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