check it out our google latitudes are spooning
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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