We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
