the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
