Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
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Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
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I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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