your parents love me but you hate me
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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