Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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