So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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