ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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