We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
