i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize
