okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
