sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
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