Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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