I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
