I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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