there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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