Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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