I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I won't apologize to a one balled man
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize