Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
