Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
