I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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