Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
