Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize