alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize