Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
