He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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