some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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