I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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