i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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