i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Randomize
